Showing all 6 results

  • Back In St. Olaf
    Back In St. Olaf

    Back In St. Olaf

    $8.00

    Back In St. Olaf

    $8.00

    Ah, back in St. Olaf, home of Larry the one-eyed pig and Henrietta the cow who inherited a farm. Where little Yimminy was put through medical school by a wild moose and Mean Old Lady Hickenlooper was born without any smiling muscles. Where the greatest attraction is a giant black hole and Gerkanenaken is the precise moment when dog doo turns white. Where holidays such as “Hay Day” and “The Day of the Wheat” (where everyone goes to town dressed like sandwiches) are celebrated, and Sperhuven Krispies are best eaten while holding your nose. And let’s not forget St. Gustav (St. Olaf’s sister city also dubbed “The City that Never Naps”).

    Join us on a trip Back to Olaf with a scent that smells like life on the farm: fresh milk and sweet honey, blended with the bright scent of newly cut grass and rich potting soil, with hints of crisp clean air.

    And as they say in St. Olaf… Helgenbargenflergenflurfennerfen!

  • Miami, Miami
    Miami, Miami

    Miami, Miami

    $8.00

    Miami, Miami

    $8.00

    Miami, Miami, you’ve got style. Blue sky, sunshine, white sand by the mile.
    When you live in this town, each day is sublime. The coldest of winters are warm and divine.

    There’s ball clubs and night clubs, all within reach.
    Dance the samba till morning, then lie on the beach.
    Each view is a postcard, each day a great time.
    The cream of the crop, it’s the top of the line.

    Miami, Miami, you’ve got style. Blue sky, sunshine, white sand by the mile.
    Miami, you’ve got style!

    Inspired by those picturesque Miami beach days, it’s the unmistakeable scent of rich suntan lotion blended with fruity tropic oils. It’s a candle that entices an endless Florida summer full of bronze skin and cinnamon tans.

  • Picture It, Sicily...
    Picture It, Sicily...

    Picture It, Sicily…

    $8.00

    Picture It, Sicily…

    $8.00

    Picture it: Sicily, 1912. A beautiful young peasant girl with clear olive skin meets an exciting but penniless Spanish artist. There’s an instant attraction. They laugh, they sing, they slam down a few boilermakers. Shortly afterwards he’s arrested for showing her how he can hold his palette without using his hands… but I digress. He paints her portrait and they make passionate love. She spends much of the next day in the shower with a loofah sponge scrubbing his fingerprints off her body. She sees the portrait and is insulted. It looks nothing like her, and she storms out of his life forever. That peasant girl was me. And that painter… was Pablo Picasso.

    Picture it, a candle, present day: The fresh scent of Sicilian lemon blended with a mild Italian olive oil, and lastly topped off with a creamy vanilla.

    Bonus: Let me tell you a story. Sicily. 1912. Picture this. Two young girls, best friends, who share three things: a pizza recipe, some dough and a dream. Everything is going great until one day a fast talking pepperoni salesman gallops into town. Of course, both girls are impressed. He dates one one night, the other the next night. Pretty soon, he drives a wedge between them. Before you know it, the pizza suffers, the business suffers, the friendship suffers. The girls part company and head for America, never to see one another again. Rose, one of those girls was me. The other one you probably know as Mama Celeste.

  • Shady Pines, Ma!
    Shady Pines, Ma!

    Shady Pines, Ma!

    $8.00

    Shady Pines, Ma!

    $8.00

    Everybody’s favorite threat. You know Shady Pines. It’s a prison where they lock you in your rooms and force you to look like you’re having fun. Then they take pictures for their brochure.

    Otherwise known as “The Home”, Shady Pines smells exactly what you think a retirement home for the elderly would smell like: the intoxicatingly strong aroma of white gardenia, (florals always mask the stench of the old) mixed with a hint of lily of the valley, and blended with eucalyptus and spearmint (for that Ben-Gay touch!).

  • Slut-Puppy
    Slut-Puppy

    Slut-Puppy

    $8.00

    Slut-Puppy

    $8.00

    Fasten your seat belt, Slut-Puppy, this ain’t gonna be no cake walk!

    Inspired by everyone’s favorite hyper-sexual Southern Belle, who happens to love a tight man. Tight men with cast-iron pecs, thighs that could choke a bear, and butts you could eat breakfast off of.

    The sexy and sensual floral fragrance of chocolate orchids blended with the sweet intoxicating scent of a spring bloomin’ peach bud just ripened to dewy fruition, waitin’ to be plucked by the first handsome man to come this way!

    But this candle, like her beauty, has always been a curse. Like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed, it entices with their fragrance but can provide no suckle. 😉

  • Thank You For Being A Friend
    Thank You For Being A Friend

    Thank You For Being A Friend

    $8.00

    Thank You For Being A Friend

    $8.00

    Picture it: Before there was Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda, there were four other ladies who dominated the small screen with their iconic characters.

    Dorothy, the dry sarcastic figure, Blanche, the aging self-proclaimed sexpot, Rose the lovable dimwit, and Sophia, the wise-cracking comic relief, and even though over 30 years have passed since they debuted on television, they have become apart of pop culture as if it were yesterday.

    This is our homage to those lovable Girls: A rich and delicious blueberry cheesecake scent (what else would it be?!) smothered in fresh luscious berries in a creamy crust, we pay tribute to those four feisty women who taught us that life doesn’t end after 50, all problems could be solved with a slice of cheesecake, and that true friendship lasts forever.